You're notta WHAT????

Okay ~ First off, apologies out for not being able to be a part of Crop, Paper, Scissors crop night on Saturday night, it would have been fun! HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY KRISTI! I had plans to go out with friends for dinner and music and OHHH what a night.

A recap of my Saturday night out.......

We drop the little man off at G&G's house so we could have a night out on this wild town with some friends. We gather at a local establishment and everyone decides to eat in the bar rather than wait for a table in the regular restaurant. Now that is all fine and dandy (really it is) except my legs are extremely short and my body is old and heavy so I am not a fan of getting up on the barstools so I can perch myself an extra foot in the air and balance on a four legged roost to visit with friends and enjoy some eats and be comfortable. My legs went to sleep a few times during the dinner so I had to keep squirming around like I had worms or something. Not a great big fan of the barstool as you can see.

Soooo, the evening was young and we decided to go take in some music form a local singer that we enjoy listening to. We head to the local establishment that the singer is playing at. We get in and find a place to sit - my back happens to be right next to a sweet/innocent older couple - I am thinking to myself - isn't that sweet - on my first observation it reminded me of what my grandparents might have been like when they were still alive, you know out for a nice evening of dinner and dancing.

I ask myself, "WHY ME, Why do these things seem to happen to me???"

You see in observing LOLA (name has been changed to protect the poor little dawling) she had a hot pink satin top on that was low cut on her trim/thin little body, LOLA had a wig on because LOLA kept adjusting it and LOLA was extremely intoxicated. After several minutes of visiting with my friends, drinking some Diet Pepsi (my personal drink of choice) and people watching, LOLA leans over to me and tells me ROBERTO (name also changed...) is 85 and she is 70 and I say to LOLA "WOW, you guys are really shakin' it out there", seriously ROBERTO had some hip moves that would make most young woman weak in the knees. Unfortunately in my observation of the LOLA and ROBERTO dancing ROBERTO, though intoxicated himself, was propping up LOLA on the dance floor because she couldn't balance, probably a combination of alcohol and vertigo I am thinking. As the evening progresses LOLA decides I am her new best friend and continues to share her inner most feelings about ROBERTO. You see, ROBERTO was dancing with EVERYONE in the establishment, I am thinking LOLA did not like ROBERTO sharing himself with others because she leaned back to me at one point and tells me that ROBERTO is looking for a woman with MONEY and he is out on the dance floor looking for LOVE. She said (word for word I mind you) "If HE thinks HE is taking me home and getting in to my pants tonight HE has another think a coming." I nearly choked on my Diet Pepsi, this is the point where I start thinking "NO THIS IS NOT MY GRANDPARENTS AT ALL" and the "WHY ME" part. She then asks if anyone at our table dances and I point to a couple and she points to the male portion of that couple and says "If I could get HIM out on the floor with me that would get to HIM (the HIM meaning ROBERTO)". I am hoping the out on the floor portion of the conversation is DANCING and not some sort of other groovy move. LOLA then shares with me that she is not poor but not rich either, her husband has passed on a few years prior and has a pension from a government group that I am sure she is much better off than most here locally. At this point ROBERTO arrives back at the table to LOLA, his princess. I am now sitting sideways in my chair because I have been talking with her and they are talking, probably thinking they are whispering but they are 70 and 85 so their hearing is failing. LOLA and ROBERTA start to kiss and LOLA slips ROBERTO the old tongue move. WOW, I had to turn around at this point. My friends from the other side of the table are now observing the goings on at the table and assure me later that ROBERTO's hand was not in his lap and it was wandering on her anatomy (maybe he was practing human anatomy by braille). As the evening progresses and ROBERTO is sharing his LOVE with other ladies and burning up the dance floor LOLA tells me she is "NOT A WHORE" (I again almost CHOKE on this one - YOUR NOT A WHAT????) oh my, oh my and she doesn't have to put up with him and she isn't going to put up with it. I am seeing now that LOLA wants ROBERTO to herself and for him to be content with HER and HER tongue at their table. When ROBERTO does get LOLA out on the dance floor she keeps giving me the "OKAY" sign over his shoulder and winking at me and I am giving her the okay sign and thumbs up back at her ~ it seems I have made a new FRIEND. As the evening winded down we followed ROBERTO & LOLA from the establishment to their car and followed them down the road........Oh what a night! Traumatizing for me but I wonder if ROBERTO got what he wanted from LOLA? Oh LOLA, she was a showgirl............WOW!