Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Is the week almost over?
This has been one HECK of a week! WOW, I have spent so much time stressed out over school for my son and time spent with the principle....HOLY COW, I was "emotionally" drained and still am half empty. My child is in private school and I guess my expectations are too high or something. I mean the past three weeks he has been in trouble at least two times each week. I know he is NO ANGEL but come on.....from drinking too much of the communion wine (wine - not to be confused with the blood of Christ and alcohol is bad for you - just in case you didn't know!), to being locked in the boys bathroom by a child he has NEVER gotten along with and I have REQUESTED that he not spend time around this child because the kid picks on him - so this week he goes to the bathroom with him as the boys have to take another boy with him and no one would go with him to the bathroom besides this kid - so guess what, he holds the stall door so my child can't get out of the stall and my child yells and gets busted! Put it this way....it was the LAST straw in my day!
I just am full and fed up! I can't take a lot more! I am angry and upset! Even after talking I just feel drained and empty. My husband feels better but I just feel like there are no true answers to these problems.
I often wonder if my name was a significant name in this valley that I would have the same problems with my child in private school. Let's face it...this town there are some BIG FISH in a little POND attitudes and they have lotsa pull wherever they go and the average person is pond scum (at least that is my interpretation)! I am tired of it! I am someone and so is my family! I am tired of sitting on the sideline and getting smooshed - it happens at work and it happens at school! I would like to tell people don't treat me like crap, respect me and don't yank me around - why do you think you can yank me around and treat me the way you do? What gives you the right? Is it because I don't fit into your mold of perfection or financial categories!
The other part of me says - you know what, when this life is over and we are all called to stand in judgment in front of our maker I won't have to answer to him for them, the ones that treat others badly....nope...they are going to stand there and be responsible for their actions and the people the tripped up in life. I need to hand the grief that these people dish out to me and others back to them in a kind manner and let them be responsible for their actions. I will only be responsible for ME and my actions - which I make mistakes and am naughty but my heart tries to be good most of the time unless I am overfilled with SCUM and GUNK which is where I am now!
I need to trust the maker that he is going to take care of the gunk that people dish out and the gunk in my life.
I am tired of the worry if people like me. I am done trying to pass inspection. You know that takes a heck of a lot of time trying to please others - it takes away from my family's time with me because I am worried about pleasing people. Do others worry if they are pleasing me or hurting me - NOPE, I don't think so! It needs to stop and now!
Okay, so on an up note - which they are far and few between the last few days....I need to get some projects done this weekend - like my Secret Sister gift for next weekend - it is Revelation for sorority! I started something earlier this year and need to wind it up and get it done! I also need to decide on another project - sometimes it is so hard to figure out something to be creative with! I have ideas I just don't know what the person would LOVE!
So at 4:00 tonight it is off to the races - kid goes to birthday party at the aquatic center, i pick the husband up at work and go to the field at school and wait for my name to be announced to win the $25,000.00 toward a NEW CAR (wouldn't that just be the gift?)...of course, $1,000.00 worth of gas wouldn't be bad either!
So as usual Friday is here and let the RACES begin! I am so looking forward to next weekend - out in the cabin at Revelation, campfire, laughter and relaxation! Oh HOW I NEED THAT! Can I make it through another week like this one? GULP!$#!!!!
I just am full and fed up! I can't take a lot more! I am angry and upset! Even after talking I just feel drained and empty. My husband feels better but I just feel like there are no true answers to these problems.
I often wonder if my name was a significant name in this valley that I would have the same problems with my child in private school. Let's face it...this town there are some BIG FISH in a little POND attitudes and they have lotsa pull wherever they go and the average person is pond scum (at least that is my interpretation)! I am tired of it! I am someone and so is my family! I am tired of sitting on the sideline and getting smooshed - it happens at work and it happens at school! I would like to tell people don't treat me like crap, respect me and don't yank me around - why do you think you can yank me around and treat me the way you do? What gives you the right? Is it because I don't fit into your mold of perfection or financial categories!
The other part of me says - you know what, when this life is over and we are all called to stand in judgment in front of our maker I won't have to answer to him for them, the ones that treat others badly....nope...they are going to stand there and be responsible for their actions and the people the tripped up in life. I need to hand the grief that these people dish out to me and others back to them in a kind manner and let them be responsible for their actions. I will only be responsible for ME and my actions - which I make mistakes and am naughty but my heart tries to be good most of the time unless I am overfilled with SCUM and GUNK which is where I am now!
I need to trust the maker that he is going to take care of the gunk that people dish out and the gunk in my life.
I am tired of the worry if people like me. I am done trying to pass inspection. You know that takes a heck of a lot of time trying to please others - it takes away from my family's time with me because I am worried about pleasing people. Do others worry if they are pleasing me or hurting me - NOPE, I don't think so! It needs to stop and now!
Okay, so on an up note - which they are far and few between the last few days....I need to get some projects done this weekend - like my Secret Sister gift for next weekend - it is Revelation for sorority! I started something earlier this year and need to wind it up and get it done! I also need to decide on another project - sometimes it is so hard to figure out something to be creative with! I have ideas I just don't know what the person would LOVE!
So at 4:00 tonight it is off to the races - kid goes to birthday party at the aquatic center, i pick the husband up at work and go to the field at school and wait for my name to be announced to win the $25,000.00 toward a NEW CAR (wouldn't that just be the gift?)...of course, $1,000.00 worth of gas wouldn't be bad either!
So as usual Friday is here and let the RACES begin! I am so looking forward to next weekend - out in the cabin at Revelation, campfire, laughter and relaxation! Oh HOW I NEED THAT! Can I make it through another week like this one? GULP!$#!!!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
The things that come out of my mouth....and Allergist Appointmnent!
Okay - so yesterday at approximately 7:45 I am cruising down the road heading to my appointment for my allergist consultation. I come around a corner and there are two Nimrods in the road (Nimrod age guesstimation....13-14 and 9-10)....do kids have any brain cells or were they born from parents who did one to many drugs or something? Okay, so anyhow, the younger of the two nimrods is walking "IN" the road with the traffic - WHY? I do not know - DEATHWISH maybe? The other NIMROD, the older one is skateboarding down the center line into oncoming traffic....so I honk my horn and the older of the two NIMROD children flipped me the bird so I slam on my brakes and roll down my window and return the favor and scream (at the top of my voice for him to - well I can't type it out here)....it felt good, I think I hold so many issues in and never express myself that it felt good to yell at the NIMROD CHILD! I wanted to kick his butt but I am 42 years old and that is illegal! I don't get the attitudes of kids today - NO RESPECT, they are taught nothing about being in the middle of a busy main road skateboarding - personally, my parents would have kicked my tail and I would have been grounded for a month....and believe me ~ SOMEHOW, somebody would have seen me that knew my parents and reported my actions to them! Kids today don't know what respect is and what it is to be accountable for your actions (well come kids do still)! I try to teach my child respect and give him examples of being respectful to others and what being disrespectful is! GOSH, I just wanted to slap the crap outta that kid - if some person would hit him you can bettttt your butt it would have been the driver of the vehicles fault and they would have been in BIGGG trouble but yet the kid is the one being a NIMROD or whatever you want to call him! Oh ya, and the best part when I yelled at the Nimrod I think it scared him that I slammed my brakes on...because he got out of the roadway!
So that is how I started my MONDAY morning - yes, I was kind of a little out of line but I have to be once in awhile when I am ALONE, I almost felt like Kathy Bates in that movie where the girls take her parking spot and she just backs up and starts ramming their car over and over again....but, I guess, now I will have to add that to my list to take to confession that I screamed profanities out the window in anger (WRONG THING TO DO).
So I get to my appointment and try to paste the happy smile back on my face - I didn't want to - some days I would just LOVE to be a real WITCH all day - ya know what I mean, Mrs. Nasty - the one whose line you don't want in at the grocery store. Wouldn't it be fun for a day just to glare at people and have a chip on your shoulder....I can't do it though - I did for 15 minutes yesterday but I was in my car driving to an appointment but BOY OH BOY if anyone would have saw me yesterday a.m. they would have thought I was a RIP because I had a nasty face on all 7 miles to my doctor's appointment. It felt gooooooooood, real good!
I take in naughty comments to me and naughtiness I see and naughtiness to my family and friends and I just take it in and store it and store it and store it and I am telling you I need an outlet - it felt good to scream at the top of my lungs to that little NIMROD kid! SHAME ON ME - I feel bad for feeling good! GUILT! I need to learn to express myself and get my point across - I am tired of storing it all inside my body while my body takes all the stress I feel! Maybe that is the reason I am seeing an allergist because of a "weird" rash that comes and goes! Maybe I have to much gunk in my body from storing all the rudeness the world gives me and not expressing myself!
WHEW - I better stop while I still can on that subject!
So anyhow, the allergist wants me to have a 5 hour glucose tolerance test to see my body is able to metabolize sugars the way it should and also wants me to dissect some of my clothing (oh, well okay my bra) because he thinks I may be allergic to the fabric in my bra and pants - possibly LATEX (I am thinking). Anyhow, so before next Monday I have to cut 1/2-inch squares out of my old bra and a pair of old pants to take in to get applied to my skin to see if I have a reaction! I also need to double rinse my clothes to make sure all the detergent gets washed out of them! All this because I use steroid cream maybe 2 days every couple weeks! Not like I am wanting pain pills to pop every few hours or something!
Sound like fun - almost like a sewing project huh - I mean the 1/2 inch squares and all - hmmm should I use my rotary cutter or my Fiskar scissors, should I scallop the edges so it will look cute on my back or just do a straight cut? Decisions - Decisions!
So to move on to brighter subject - It was Joe's Birthday last night (HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!) - we went to BBQ & Blues with some friends for ribs - we had a great time! I hope all our friends enjoyed it as much as we did! There was a ziplock bag at the other end of the table that I am not sure why the rib bucket kept emptying into the bag but WHATEVER....what I don't know won't hurt me right? Anyhow, I think Joe enjoyed his birthday lots - he said it was the most fun he has had for his birthday in a few years - that means everyone who was there made it special for him! THANK YOU ALL!
So that is how I started my MONDAY morning - yes, I was kind of a little out of line but I have to be once in awhile when I am ALONE, I almost felt like Kathy Bates in that movie where the girls take her parking spot and she just backs up and starts ramming their car over and over again....but, I guess, now I will have to add that to my list to take to confession that I screamed profanities out the window in anger (WRONG THING TO DO).
So I get to my appointment and try to paste the happy smile back on my face - I didn't want to - some days I would just LOVE to be a real WITCH all day - ya know what I mean, Mrs. Nasty - the one whose line you don't want in at the grocery store. Wouldn't it be fun for a day just to glare at people and have a chip on your shoulder....I can't do it though - I did for 15 minutes yesterday but I was in my car driving to an appointment but BOY OH BOY if anyone would have saw me yesterday a.m. they would have thought I was a RIP because I had a nasty face on all 7 miles to my doctor's appointment. It felt gooooooooood, real good!
I take in naughty comments to me and naughtiness I see and naughtiness to my family and friends and I just take it in and store it and store it and store it and I am telling you I need an outlet - it felt good to scream at the top of my lungs to that little NIMROD kid! SHAME ON ME - I feel bad for feeling good! GUILT! I need to learn to express myself and get my point across - I am tired of storing it all inside my body while my body takes all the stress I feel! Maybe that is the reason I am seeing an allergist because of a "weird" rash that comes and goes! Maybe I have to much gunk in my body from storing all the rudeness the world gives me and not expressing myself!
WHEW - I better stop while I still can on that subject!
So anyhow, the allergist wants me to have a 5 hour glucose tolerance test to see my body is able to metabolize sugars the way it should and also wants me to dissect some of my clothing (oh, well okay my bra) because he thinks I may be allergic to the fabric in my bra and pants - possibly LATEX (I am thinking). Anyhow, so before next Monday I have to cut 1/2-inch squares out of my old bra and a pair of old pants to take in to get applied to my skin to see if I have a reaction! I also need to double rinse my clothes to make sure all the detergent gets washed out of them! All this because I use steroid cream maybe 2 days every couple weeks! Not like I am wanting pain pills to pop every few hours or something!
Sound like fun - almost like a sewing project huh - I mean the 1/2 inch squares and all - hmmm should I use my rotary cutter or my Fiskar scissors, should I scallop the edges so it will look cute on my back or just do a straight cut? Decisions - Decisions!
So to move on to brighter subject - It was Joe's Birthday last night (HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!) - we went to BBQ & Blues with some friends for ribs - we had a great time! I hope all our friends enjoyed it as much as we did! There was a ziplock bag at the other end of the table that I am not sure why the rib bucket kept emptying into the bag but WHATEVER....what I don't know won't hurt me right? Anyhow, I think Joe enjoyed his birthday lots - he said it was the most fun he has had for his birthday in a few years - that means everyone who was there made it special for him! THANK YOU ALL!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
I can see clearly now....
WOW - that is 2.5 days I don't want to re-live! Okay there were some really cute things that happened when I was soooo sick! Thursday night is when the illness knocked me down - I didn't feel well all day but by 5:00 Thursday night I was not good! Joe was working late so I told Angelo "Mom has to go lady down for awhile". I told him I didn't feel well and that is when Nurse Angelo came to the rescue. He kept checking on me and brought me a cup of water with a straw in it and said "mom, you better drink some water - it may help you feel better". I didn't want to but he was just so darn cute about it - I did! He then told me I need to take Tylenol so I directed him to the bottle in the bathroom (bad mom - yes, I know) but he got it and brought it to me and then proceeded to tell me he could open the "childproof" cap and he did - dumped out two Tylenol in the lid and then dumped them in my hand - such a sterile procedure. Anyway that was so cute - it made my heart happy even though my body was sick and weak.
I missed work Friday - there was just NO way, even working at home, that I could have sat up all day - I slept most of the day away.
I woke up Saturday morning hoping to be "healed" and I still felt yucky - I spent part of Friday night/Saturday morning up anyhow watching the TV (just an FYI - there is nothing much on between the hours of 1:00 a.m. and 4:30 a.m. - thankfully I had some DVR'd episodes of Little People Big World I could watch). Having not eaten anything for 2.5 days and very little in the way of fluids I felt real rough. I managed to shower and get ready to go weigh-in at WW. I downed a little bit of 7-Up and some Imodium after having an early morning RUN on underwear changes (anyhow, you get the point), and headed over to weigh in - Here is what fasting can do for ya - 6.6 lbs lost! I am SOOOO dreading next Saturday when I am REhydrated, have eaten and have NOT been sprinting to the bathroom every 30 minutes and then having to step on the scales - I have a hunch it ain't gonna be so pretty but we will see - I will hold a bit of hope but I expect something in the way of a GAIN! Anyhow, then it was off to the early a.m. soccer game (Last one for SPRING soccer) - I decided I better lay low and stay close to the vehicle just in case I needed to make a quick run to the quicky mart for a bathroom break but THANKFULLY the Imodium (even having been outdated from 3/07) still did its business!
After lying low Saturday afternoon we went out for dinner with friends and then to here our favorite singer sing at a club. It was good to get out of the house with some adult time and feeling halfway back to normal!
Today we rose early and headed to pick up Angelo at Grandma & Grandpa's house, that was our strict instructions - pick him up IN THE MORNING (EARLY)! Gotta love em! We had to do a Costco run because we were running short on the T-paper! I picked up some potting soil and had plans of redoing my pots for the summer. We then grabbed lunch out - I had a killer cup of soup! We were headed home and had to swing by K-mart and I picked up some flowers to plant in my pots, which I am proud to say I got accomplished - they are in the pots as I type tonight! I just finished whipping up a strawberry rhubarb crisp and it is cooking - it is for Joe-Joe's birthday tomorrow....SHHHHHH!
I will post some pics of my flower pots tomorrow....I am TOOOO tired to get my camera to hook it up to the computer to download the pics right now!
I missed work Friday - there was just NO way, even working at home, that I could have sat up all day - I slept most of the day away.
I woke up Saturday morning hoping to be "healed" and I still felt yucky - I spent part of Friday night/Saturday morning up anyhow watching the TV (just an FYI - there is nothing much on between the hours of 1:00 a.m. and 4:30 a.m. - thankfully I had some DVR'd episodes of Little People Big World I could watch). Having not eaten anything for 2.5 days and very little in the way of fluids I felt real rough. I managed to shower and get ready to go weigh-in at WW. I downed a little bit of 7-Up and some Imodium after having an early morning RUN on underwear changes (anyhow, you get the point), and headed over to weigh in - Here is what fasting can do for ya - 6.6 lbs lost! I am SOOOO dreading next Saturday when I am REhydrated, have eaten and have NOT been sprinting to the bathroom every 30 minutes and then having to step on the scales - I have a hunch it ain't gonna be so pretty but we will see - I will hold a bit of hope but I expect something in the way of a GAIN! Anyhow, then it was off to the early a.m. soccer game (Last one for SPRING soccer) - I decided I better lay low and stay close to the vehicle just in case I needed to make a quick run to the quicky mart for a bathroom break but THANKFULLY the Imodium (even having been outdated from 3/07) still did its business!
After lying low Saturday afternoon we went out for dinner with friends and then to here our favorite singer sing at a club. It was good to get out of the house with some adult time and feeling halfway back to normal!
Today we rose early and headed to pick up Angelo at Grandma & Grandpa's house, that was our strict instructions - pick him up IN THE MORNING (EARLY)! Gotta love em! We had to do a Costco run because we were running short on the T-paper! I picked up some potting soil and had plans of redoing my pots for the summer. We then grabbed lunch out - I had a killer cup of soup! We were headed home and had to swing by K-mart and I picked up some flowers to plant in my pots, which I am proud to say I got accomplished - they are in the pots as I type tonight! I just finished whipping up a strawberry rhubarb crisp and it is cooking - it is for Joe-Joe's birthday tomorrow....SHHHHHH!
I will post some pics of my flower pots tomorrow....I am TOOOO tired to get my camera to hook it up to the computer to download the pics right now!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Still Sick and I mean sick....
In the last 24-hours I have spent numerous hours with the porcelain God - first one way and then another....it ain't pretty! I don't what I have but it isn't fun! I was hoping for a 24-hour bug but it has been 24-hours and it is still hanging on.
I don't like it I hope it goes away soon as quickly as it wandered into my life! UGGHHH!
Funny Pics and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com
I don't like it I hope it goes away soon as quickly as it wandered into my life! UGGHHH!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
I feel ICKY!!!!
I feel like I am going to lose it....
I am nauseous, headache and chilled! I think I might DIE....okay, maybe not but ICK I don't like feeling like this!
I think I am going to crawl back in bed!
BLUCK!
I am nauseous, headache and chilled! I think I might DIE....okay, maybe not but ICK I don't like feeling like this!
I think I am going to crawl back in bed!
BLUCK!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
