Down & Out in Lewiston, Idaho......

I will have to admit I am in a low spot in life (AGAIN) and feeling like a DUD......I have been sleeping a ton (whether that is the sadness I am in or the illness I am fighting I don't know...)

It all started about 5 weeks ago when I got this illness that has been kicking my butt now even after two rounds of antibiotics I still am feeling like have a pillow over my head and can't hear things, coughing, aching, and tired. I am ready to be well already - don't you think I have suffered long enough with whatever this is? I don't care WHAT anyone says I will not be submitting myself to a flu shot again....this all started about 10 days after I received my "free" shot.....a friend suggested that if I do get a shot next year to ask for the preservative free one - that I am possibly reacting to the preservatives in the mixture of whatever it is they inject into your body.

Someone in the house suggested I return to the doctor but I don't want to hear her say that it takes time again as I pay her my $20.00 copay.....THANK YOU VERY MUCH & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

I have been working to complete my 12 ornaments that I made for the ornament exchange I am a member of, which took place last night.......that has kept me busy when I was feeling "alert" enough to felt on them and sew and cut them out.....it doesn't feel all that FINE to have a felting needle pierce your finger.....trust me on that one! Last night was our exchange and it was a load of fun even with my plugged ears and coughing spells. I will post photos as soon as I find my cable on my desk for the camera.....I took pictures of my creations and you can perhaps understand how detailed these were. 11 of my creations went to new homes last night and I hope everyone enjoys them as much as I do. It is so much fun to be together for a few hours and laugh out loud. I stayed late to help pick up with the organizers and another friend. I don't know how much I actually helped but I tried to be a helper.

I have, AGAIN, had some issues with my child being bullied - will this ever end? I am so DONE with schools these days - I am beginning to see why people opt to home school.....the system sucks people and it if it started to be straightened out NOW it would take a whole entire generation I think to get it back to a functional status. It is very, very, very sad to see what our public system is today from what it was 30 years ago. Something went very wrong when they started taking away discipline in the schools. Although this particular incident did not happen at the school it is the same two brats that were picking on him in school who have now taken it to the B&G Club.....apparently one choked him while the other punched him in the face.....of course, no one saw it and when Ang told the staff they didn't "hear" him (this is what I was told when I marched Angelo back into the club after picking him up that night).....and the staff apologized to him for not hearing him......I thought on this situation long and deep.....we wonder WHY there is a high rate of teen suicides and teens expressing frustration by shootings in schools....NOOO I am absolutely NOT condoning these things but what happens to a child who is bullied over and over for years and years and the system fails to hear them or stop bullies from picking on them? How long are children expected to put up with being picked on before they break? What is the answer to all this crap? This just hasn't set well with me with my being in a mood and not feeling well. I have said this before but "I AM DONE"....I said it a couple of years ago in a certain situation I was in with a family member. That is how I am now "I am DONE", I am done being Mrs. Nice and Smiley.....the bitch in me is beginning to bloom baby! I am certainly not saying my child does NOO wrong and is perfect but I am done apologizing for bringing these situations up to teachers and staff members! You are a part of molding my child's dreams and I fricking expect you to take it seriously! If the teachers and staff don't want to take care of these issues then perhaps an attorney needs to get involved or the law. I am DONE!

This on top of the holiday season, my illness and the mood I am in just isn't the grandest of combinations! You see this time of year I think about how much I miss people that are no longer here on this earth. The memories I have of these people and the laughter they brought to my life, not only my grandparents, aunts/uncles but dear friends who I may have only known for a short time or on a professional basis but they touched my life and changed me and I miss them! It probably doesn't help the situation by the books I have been reading on the concentration camps and the journeys people went through to save their families - I mean what better combination for the holiday season?

Sooooooo, in turn, I need to start digging myself out of this pitty party I am having and figure out how to find the JOY in the JOURNEY and the season we are in the midst of! Oh and by the way, sorry I didn't invite any of you to my PITTY PARTY....it is something I have to do ALONE....you see, in the eye of most I still paste on my smile and be happy......I hope I do a good job of covering up my PPP (private pitty party), it is quite the shin-dig sometimes! I try to function normally during the days and then by night I am so exhausted I crawl in bed by 9:00 which is unusual for me.

Any suggestions for dragging my self from the "PIT OF PITTY" are greatly appreciated but remember to "BE KIND" with your suggestions......