WOE-ful Wednesday....

I am going to be "straight up" with you...this week has been tough in "Eating Right" camp. I have so struggled with it the last few days! It is just plain hard some weeks! I have started out each morning actually HUNGRY getting up in the morning! I have went and worked out the last two days - I missed Monday due to my body wanting to stay in bed! I walked on the treadmill at a faster speed for 11 minutes yesterday and 20 minutes of the circuit - today I did the 34 minute circuit and 5 minutes on the treadmill at the higher speed! My legs some days just don't want to work and in fact, today I almost lost it on the treadmill - that would have totally been so embarrassing - OH MY - I don't think anyone saw my stumble! Yesterday I tripped over the platform in the circuit and almost bit it - "HELLO FEET, wake up down there"!

I have wanted to eat chocolate from the kid's Easter treats but so far I have resisted and ate Weight Watchers treats - I will have to say that WW treats have come along ways from what they used to be - they are actually QUITE tasty! Mind you, I have NOT thrown in the towel I just want to say "I am STRUGGLING" this week! I am still counting the points and doing the workouts just not so happily! I will get the fire back though! I can't afford NOT to! I think it is the "pre-vacation" celebration - SPRING BREAK is just around the corner! WOOHOO!

We went out to the casino last night - they are doing a special promotion for the month of March and they credit your player's card with $35.00 (just certain days) - yes, it is true! Anyhow we (Joe & I) took my mom and left the kid home with Gramps! Joe and my mom came out with nearly their total $35.00 - I however, never fair so well - I ended up with $15.00 give or take a few cents! I have no luck when it comes to casinos! but that is pretty good for not putting anything in it besides the $1 to get the machine going! It was fun to get out for a couple of hours - even though I had to stand in line for one hour just to get a PIN number for my player's card....that sucked big time!

So, there you have it my boring life in a nutshell. LIFE IS GOOD!

HAPPY EASTER!

"The Basket" after "The Hunt"!

Some additional Loot from the Bunny....

Today we are off to my parents to have Easter dinner and spend the afternoon with them. We ended up dyeing our eggs early this a.m. as we ran out of time yesterday with an early morning soccer game, Weight Watchers meeting with a 0.2 loss - for a total of 19 lbs! Dissappointment again with the results at the scale after a hard week's work, working out and eating right but I can't complain since Friday night we went to The Elk's and I indulged in bite size steak and a cookie...I had a ton of points left for the day because I knew I was going out that night. I guess I should have been a good girl and ordered salmon but I am just not much of a salmon fan even though it was "Good Friday" and all! Everyone else at the table was good and ate their Fish on Friday but I said I really didn't think God was going to cast me in to hell for having steak. I mean that isn't what it is about you know what I mean?

Okay, so back to yesterday's soccer game - all I am going to say is "DANG" it was cold out there - when there is frost on the ground and you are playing soccer you may be in Lewiston, Idaho. My toes were so cold by the time the game ended that I am still shivering from it. After the game we ran some weekend errands, got a few groceries, did the "Easter" basket shopping and I got my hair cut! Dropped by my parents to visit - left Angelo there for a couple of hours and went to Hasting's to check a DS game out that of course, they didn't have! Go figure! Then we went out for pizza with some friends and everyone wanted ice cream afterwards so we went to DQ - can you say "EATING RIGHT"? I did okay though! Then I came home, boiled the eggs, and stuffed eggs with the help of one of my weekday employees, AKA as "DAISY" -she has a nose for food and chocolate is one of her FAVES - even though NO CHOCOLATE for dogs is the rule here - she came and tried to help me and here is her find and I caught her in the act trying to get the chocolate out of the egg. What a weasel!

"HAPPY EASTER" - Enjoy!

Whirlwind of a week....

First off I have to say that I have been exercising for 6 weeks now....I was measured and weighed, etcetera, when I started the program and then I was remeasured this a.m. I have lost 9 inches in those six short weeks. Of course, my first reaction is I want MORE but I should be happy for the 9 inches right....that is a huge success! The weight that I lost was all fat weight and not muscle mass! That means I must be doing "something" right!

Tuesday night was sorority. It was my night to do program - which is a time for the ladies to learn something new - it can be a craft, or an informational reading, a demonstration of some sort but I got this idea in my head and wanted to post pictures of the creation that I taught! I love them - it was fun and I hope they all enjoyed it! I cut flowers with my Cricut from 6:00 to 11:00 p.m. the night before pretty much NONSTOP! WHEW!

Anyhow here is the picture;

How cute is that? Okay, so at least "I" thought it was cute!

Happy Thursday!

I was thinking a friend that I lost to cancer years ago, her name was Joyce, she made me laugh lots! She was actually like a 2nd mother to me because I was in youth group with her two kids. So today I thought I would just remember Joyce on my blog and remember all the fun things we laughed about. What a great lady! Remember how she always got a group of us together for a game night when her son came home on leave from the military. What a mom to have! Unfortunately her life was cut short by cancer and she was only her early 40's, right where I am in life now!

Thanks Joyce for all you shared with me! You played the piano and organ in church so beautifully!


Friends

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hope He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seen you've gone'
Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long To live as friends

And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show

But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seen you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seen you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

This was in my e-mail this morning and just too good not to pass on.

Instant gratification and the Dark Side

The things that matter in a bad life, we know, are: gaining power over others, accumulating as much stuff as you can, getting revenge on your enemies (who are everywhere), and drugging yourself one way or another to forget the pain of not quite being human. Gene Logsdon Sloooooooow doooown. Be still, and wait. Chuck Girard

I overheard this telephone conversation in an airport.
A young man, maybe age 30, shouts into his cell phone, in a clearly agitated voice, right arm gesticulating to no one in particular, "Hey! Why didn't you return my call? I texted you. Like twenty minutes ago."

Ahhh, the trials and tribulations of modern life. Not to mention the poignant inconvenience of having too many technically-challenged-friends.

I did smile when I walked by our young impatient friend, but I certainly claim no moral high road. I know whereof his vexation ferments. I too have swallowed the modern insistence for speed, instantaneous feedback and a disdain for wasted time. I know his feeling of agitation and restlessness. I know what it feels like to shout (into a phone or into the air), my voice put out and disgruntled, and to feel, literally, kindness, patience, compassion, and good-will-to-all-people, leaching out of my soul. And oddly, it feels oh so good. . .in the way six-cups-of-coffee feels good. Wired, teed off, on pins-and-needles, irritable, ready to conquer the world and take names, but with no idea where to begin, or why. It's the Spiderman III syndrome. The parasite that becomes the black suit, which brings out the very worst of what is inside us.

Peter Parker: Eddie, it's the suit. You've got to take it off.
Eddie Brock: Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't ya? [in the suit, turning into "Venom"]
Peter Parker: I've been there, Eddie. The power; it feels good. But you'll lose yourself to it. It'll destroy you. Take the suit off Eddie, it's not too late!
Venom: ["Thinking" about it before masking up] Nah... I like being bad. It makes me... happy...

I'm just wondering. . .How did an unanswered phone message morph into a personal grievance? And when did our demand for instant gratification become a requirement for a life well lived?

Plato said, a long time ago, "What is honored in a country will be cultivated there."Much of what we honor (by our time, our focus, our energy, our priorities) is not conscious. We absorb these assumptions and they become a part of our life, a part of our "reality." We assume that. . .Busyness is a virtue and a sign of importance.

Time spent waiting is wasted time.

Empty space must be filled.

Going anyplace without a cell phone (or a way to be reached) is inconsiderate. (I've been curious: how many email messages-or SPAM-did Jesus have to sort through after his 40 days in the desert?)

Newer is ideal, and bigger is preferred.
Multi-tasking is a spiritual gift.
Rich people are those with money, and no time.
Poor people are those with no money, and lots of time.

Call waiting is essential because the person calling me may be more important than the person I am speaking with now.

Technology is the easy whipping boy here. But that's not the point. The truth is that my insistence on speed (instant gratification) removes me from my self, and from the present. And I wear this obsession like the black suit. I am restless, agitated, intolerant, annoyed, disconcerted, on edge. . .and not present. And then I wonder; how did I get myself into this pickle? What have I been honoring here? And, if we absorb (or honor) these things without reflection, how can we change?

In the Empire Strikes Back, Luke Skywalker learns from Yoda.
Yoda: Yes, run! Yes, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice.
Luke: (Darth) Vader... Is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.
Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad?
Yoda: You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive.

I know this: I can't be calm or at peace or present if my multi-tasking juices are flowing, and I abhor any delay, and I need to fill any vacuum. So the first step is to stop. To take a deep breath. And to let it out very, very slowly. And then ask, "what am I honoring here?"I haven't thrown my cell phone away. Not yet. I might get a really important call. But I did turn it off for the afternoon. That's a start.

Poems / Prayers

Slow Down
In the midst of my confusion
In the time of desperate need
When I am thinking not too clearly
A gentle voice does intercede

Slow down, slow down, be still
Be still and wait, on the Spirit of the Lord
Slow down and hear His voice
And know that He is God

In the time of tribulation
When I'm feeling so unsure
When things are pressing in about me
Comes a gentle voice so still, so pure

Slow down, slow down, be still
Be still and wait, on the Spirit of the Lord
Slow down and hear His voice
And know that He is God
And know that He is God
Chuck Girard ©1974 Dunamis Music

The Lord is my Pace-Setter, I shall not rush.
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals,
He provides me with images of stillness,which restore my serenity.
He leads me in ways of efficiency through calmness of mind,
And His guidance is peace.
Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day,
I will not fret, for His presence is here.
His timelessness, His all-importance will keep me in balance,
He prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity.
By anointing my mind with His oils of tranquility,
My cup of joyous energy overflows.
Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruit of my hours,
For I shall walk in the place of my Lord, and dwell in His house forever.
Amen.
~Author Unknown~

Peace, Terry Hershey

An Irish Blessing

(A Blessing from St. Patrick)


May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rains fall soft upon your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

(Traditional Irish Blessing; origin unknown,
although some attribute it to St. Patrick.)

Success for the week....

Saturday was the big WIN (my abbreviation for weigh in) day. As I stated in previous post I was a little nervous about going because I was worried it was going to be a gain week after eating maximum points. I got on the scales with a big succes of 4.6 for a "grand" total of 18.8 pounds in five weeks! I have a long row to hoe but I am headed in the right direction. One of the things that stuck with me yesterday's meeting was the fact that lots of people are in a hurry to get to the end of DIETING, why is that? is it so one can start eating again? because this plan is a LIFESTYLE change - learning to eat right - learning to make the right choices - learning portion sizes....this plan should never end - it truly is not a DIET - it is a new way of life!

I am excited about this upcoming week at exercise because I will be weighing and measuring there to see my success after my six short weeks of working out!

I have so much to do today to get ready for the upcoming week - as usual I put it all off until the last minute - I guess I must thrive on that "rushed/anxiety" point in my life! I am putting together an awesome little craft project that I hope turns out as cute as I visualize it in my brain! If it turns out cute I will definitely post a picture.

Lastly, here are my layouts that I did yesterday for the Chocolate Extravaganza for sorority - I had a little help from S (I only put the "S" so I didn't POST your entire name to the world because I don't know if you would like that - but thanks again, awesome job) at Crop, Paper, Scissors! My layouts look a little lame - things just weren't jiven' for me yesterday in the scrappin department - maybe it was because I did that unexpected purse run with 3 other crazies - what an EXPERIENCE that was! WILD! Kind of like a huge yard sale with WOMEN grabbing and hording their finds! I think I need a semi-private showing!

Here is a two page layout....the fancy blue pieces of paper to hide the identities of those who MAY not want to be posted on the web....


And the second - one page layout - I still have to finish the last one (This is the one S did), Awesome layout - THANKS for the HELP!

Surprise Package in the Mail....

I signed up for Gusto Girl's Easter Exchange and received my package from Arizona today - here were the "FUN" contents! Thank you so much for the fun gift, there is just something about getting a package in the mail that brightens my whole day! Love the "Hoppy Easter" sign - how cute is that?, three pairs of socks to celebrate the upcoming holidays with, Ferrero Rocher chocolates (YUM!) and Chicken Soup for the Soul Journal....THANK YOU! I absolutely LOVE socks, socks are to me like some people's collection of shoes! THANK YOU AGAIN!

I have to laugh - but I am scared too...

Okay so I have been at this new lifestyle for right around five weeks now. Angelo is so funny because twice in the last couple of days he has asked me how my Weight Watchers plan is going and if I am eating healthier. He talks like a little adult - he is 9 for pete's sake! So as much as I didn't want someone monitoring me - I have it - my son! This could be bad too because you know how kids like to talk to others and I am in fear of what he could be telling his teachers at school. YIKES! Thank Heaven I have been VERY careful about not getting on the scale in front of my little monitor!

I had a great workout this morning partially because I was a little tense from events the last few days so I put it all in those machines. I even walked 12 minutes on the treadmill. It felt gooood, real gooooooooood!

2 days of normalcy - sort of....

Well the kid has been back to school now for nearly two days now. I am happy that he is feeling well enough to go back and I am happy that I now have my home/office back to "normal" - where I feel like I can accomplish what I am supposed to in a day! There are drawbacks to working at home that is for sure! I almost went into anxiety/panic mode on Monday during the day when he was demanding time from me, I had already had to take time off to pick him up from school and then I wasn't feeling I was getting done the amount of work I needed to! WOW - it was not fun!

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. I thought I was safe - I mean this doctor usually doesn't give me the big drawn out speech about "HOW I NEED to lose WeIgHt" but as luck would have it...he did yesterday! I wonder sometimes if people don't think that I don't recognize that I am overweight (do I look stupid along with being obese?)....do people think I went to bed last night thin and woke up this morning fat, that somehow during the night I was overcome with fat cells by the "FAT FAIRY" or what? I mean seriously? I want to say "SHUT YOUR MOUTH and listen" because he didn't appear to be particularly interested in the fact that I was telling him that I had joined a weight loss program and Fit Express and had been exercising 4-5 times a week and learning to eat right.....nope, he didn't hear me, because he went on to say that he only eats one meal a day because if he ate more than that he would gain weight or have to ride his bike a ton more miles. Well, Sorry but the one meal a day thing isn't going to work for me! He lost me in the conversation and guess what? I lost him too! I wanted to put my hand up and say "you're talking to the hand"! At least when I left his office I didn't go home or go out and splurge! I really am trying and it depresses me when people don't listen or won't listen! Oh, he even gave me a prescription for 2 weeks of an appetite suppressant - like that ISN'T MY PROBLEM - hellooooo, I don't eat because I am HUNGRY - I eat because I like the taste of food - give me a pill that makes ALL food taste like CRAP and maybe it would be of some help!

You know I have been thinking this eating "right" thing through for a few years now...because I have failed at other things! I wasn't ready until when I finally started, I knew I wasn't ready, my heart/mind were not ready for the dedication I knew it was going to take!

I have considered gastric bypass and the gastric banding but for whatever reason in my brain it just doesn't make sense that if I go have either procedure that my brain is going to change its awful habits.

I believe that I need to mentally work on this and physically make a change using my GUTS and PERSONAL STRENGTH! It is harder than hell to do this but I know mentally I need to think about things and try to change my thinking and actions by suffering through this day by day! Maybe somehow through this I will gain some self-esteem and self-worth for me! It would be a quick fix to go have surgery - I mean "YES" I would love to go have surgery and in a year or 18 months be MICRO thin but how long will it last? It doesn't make sense - they cut me or band me so I can't eat as much at one time but I can still inhale high caloric foods throughout the day - maybe not all at once but it can be done! If it worked for others - great - I am happy for you and if you want to have it done GREAT - I wish you the best but I know I don't want to do this just yet! Going under anesthesia isn't a favorite thing of mine to do either!

I want to be healthier mentally and physically and I am trying to gain this!

So if you can't be supporting of this endeavor and want to listen to my accomplishments/trials with this trek then "SHUT YOUR MOUTH" because I have probably already tuned you out but you probably won't know it because I will put on my "LOOK INTERESTED" face and be daydreaming about something else!



I had to BLOW some steam people! I feel better already!

I am trying so hard....

On Friday night I hung with a friend at CPS for a couple of hours - but waiting in the parking lot outside the store was the interesting part! I can't believe this town and what the kids do for their "CRUISE NIGHT"...some idiot had his hands on a megaphone and was yelling racial slurs and I saw a cop drive by twice and they did NOTHING....I mean this kid was a true REDNECK - if you hang out on Main Street on Friday night with your friends standing in the back of your pickup yelling racial slurs on a megaphone "You ARE probably a redneck in Lewiston, Idaho"! It is embarrassing to live here sometimes! If you have feelings toward other races fine but don't stand on Main Street with a megaphone screaming it you LOSER! Seriously, I was embarrassed!

Saturday was the big WEIGH day and what a let down - 0.4 lbs down! I am trying so hard but after the meeting I was thinking I am probably not eating the right things -i.e. not enough protein and not enough of of the "right thing" (i.e. fruits/vegetables). I have been counting my points and doing under my point allowance but maybe not the right combo of foods - lots of 100 calorie snack packs (cookies/chips) - BAADDD ME! Hopefully this week will be lots more rewarding for me!

After weigh in I went for breakfast with the fam. Angelo was feeling lots better and so we went out - it was nice to get out after a week of being in the house. I then had a sorority event with my service sorority at the Animal Shelter here - we toured and visited with all the animals - there was the cutest little PUG puppy (9 weeks old - D, how bout that one for you or your mom?).



We were going to bath some of the dogs but it was way to overcast and cool for the dogs and us too - so we took some of the dogs for a walk. Some of the dogs stories were hidious - horrible - I don't believe what people do and abandon dogs for WHAT reasons? I think people should be microchipped and should be scanned when they go to adopt a dog! I mean "HELLO" - an animal is a responsibility that is going to shed, have accidents, needs companionship and love - not to be abandoned or shot for dead! SICKOS!



Anyhow the dog walk, oh ya, I was talking about the walking the dogs - I picked an older dog thinking she would be SLOOOWWW - but oh no she still had the spunk in her and took me for the walk - I felt like I had been in a marathon or something after walking her! A group of us went out to lunch afterwards and shared some more stories and laughter - it was great to be able to do that after being locked up in the house all week with my kiddo!

I spent Saturday afternoon with my parents visiting - that was good - I don't get that opportunity all the time! It was very relaxing! Sunday we slept in after Angelo had woke us up in the midst of the night coughing and crying about just wanting to feel better! Poor kid, I mean a week of feeling like crud is bad, the antibiotics he got are horrible tasting - I tried a tad because he was complaining so bad and they are icky - why can't they make them a little more palatable? We went to lunch with some friends and then the biweekly trip to COSTCO! We came home unpacked the groceries and I crashed after playing 3 games of UNOspin with Angelo! I was back up at 10:30 p.m. until 12:30 hanging out and then went back to bed! I think I am overwhelmed with LIFE right now and Angelo not feeling well!

Anyhow it is Monday morning now and another work week.....

Bronchitis....

I ended up taking the little man in to see the doctor yesterday a.m. and he has bronchitis. He was started on antibiotics and should be feeling better real soon (though not soon enough for me)! His cough is pretty bad though.

I am so looking forward to tonight at quitting time and I am going to be on the RUN all weekend since I have been cooped up all week - it has been bad - I need an OUTING....trust me I dooooo!

Tomorrow is the BIG weigh day again! It has definitely been a more difficult week this week - I have wanted to munch, munch, munch but I have tried to do that with healthy choice snacks! It has to be STRESS from taking care of a sicky!

Gains of a good kind....

Well this week has been an interesting one so far...my child has been home sick all week with me - he has the crud that this valley is infestated with right now, cough, fever, sore throat.....at least I am keeping him out of the public and at home like every SMART person should do! Hopefully he is on the mend, I am always not sure whether he should be taken to the doctor or not - I think if he can fight this off with his own little body then it is better than pumping him full of antibiotics so he can build resistance to them and then the next time he gets even sicker. He has to be getting better because he is more demanding than the first day he was at home. Oh the joys of mommyhood! I am also trying to work from home during all this too, so there you have it - nice to work at home but also when you are home with your child and the child is sick you have expectations that you can still work because it is right in your home and maybe these are just expectations I put on myself.

I got up and peeled myself out of bed to go to exercise - this is getting to be a habit I think! Anyhow, it was double dip day and NOOO that isn't ice cream dips either; so I did my time on the machines and then I decided to walk on the treadmill since I hadn't been on that since the first week I went. The first week I went I could only walk 2 minutes at the slowest speed and I was pretty much done, my legs were shaky and I was at my limits (pretty said, yes, I know)! Anyhow, just after a month I walked today for 8.5 minutes at 2 - it was good, it felt good probably could have pushed myself a bit further but the success is -- I DID IT! WAY TO GO MEEEE!

I am excited to get to be weighed and measured in a couple more weeks - it will be intersting to see what has happened in six weeks - I mean I weigh in once a week with my diet plan but this machine does your BMI, % of body fat, hydration....plus some other stuff and then you are measured! I hope I have decreased where I am supposed to.

Another "UP-SIDE" moment in my life - I got my ELTON JOHN TICKETS - I can't wait! My countdown clock is ticking away for that special DAY!

So sad....I hope he does well with treatment!

Patrick Swayze Has Pancreatic Cancer
March 5, 2008, 6:09 PM EST
MSN Entertainment


Comments

Patrick Swayze is being treated for pancreatic cancer but is doing well enough to continue working, his representative said Wednesday.

The "Dirty Dancing" actor has a very limited amount of disease and appears to be responding well to treatment, according to Dr. George Fisher, Swayze's physician. Fisher's prognosis was included in a statement released Wednesday by Swayze's representative, Annett Wolf.

"Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far," the statement read. "All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic. Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects. The outpouring of support and concern he has already received from the public is deeply appreciated by Patrick and his family."

The New York Post and the National Enquirer, however, reported that Swayze is losing his battle to cancer and only has a few more weeks to live.

The Enquirer reported that the actor, 55, has been undergoing chemotherapy at Stanford University Hospital, but the treatment has had little or no effect on treating the cancer.

The actor has two projects in the works: the movie "Powder Blue," and a television movie titled "The Beast," according to the Web site imdb.com. Both are scheduled for release this year.

The Associated Press contributed to this story.

SILPADA PARTY TONIGHT

I am having a Silpada Party tonight;

7:00 p.m.
Tomato Brothers - River Room

Come and have FUN!

or feel free to order online at;

www.mysilpada.com/jeanne.schoeffler

THANK YOU!

Scrapbook Layouts from Wednesday Nite @ CPS

And the next one..........



And the last ONE.....kind of plain but I haven't decided what pics to put on it and then I can "spice it up"!



What do ya Think?

Saturday

I got up WAY to early this a.m. to get ready for the big "Weigh In". I am not sure why it has been so scary for me to face weigh in each week, I get anxious about not losing weight. I didn't lose any weight today but gained 1 lb. I am not upset because I know I did my best, I worked out 5x this week for 35-40 minutes each day, that is a whole lot more than I was doing just one month ago. I am not sure what the gain was about - I ate a late dinner last night could that be it? Is it because I had lost 14.8 lbs last week? Or is it the exercise? Everybody seems to have their own thoughts on it. I didn't like the fact that I gained after working so hard by I am not going to beat myself up over it - I tried, I ate properly and the results were not on the scales this week but that doesn't mean I failed. The talk today was about ANTs (automatic negative thoughts), it is amazing what our minds are programmed to say to us and how we can program our minds to say them or life experiences program it. This week's meeting was the second half of last weeks. It was some very good stuff to mull over. No matter what anyone says I am a success because I went today and I tried and I am off my butt doing something to better my life! We need to set our goals and visualize how we are going to handle things ahead of time, it makes sense because if mentally you decide how you are going to handle something you usually do it! I had to laugh because the leader started talking about putting our buffet pants on....I thought buffet pants - my thought was oh ya, loose, stretchy, big pants.....no, it is the ones that are fit snug, have a button and have no room to stretch because that reminds us what we don't want to do if we have snug pants on and the just fit us.

After weigh in I had to go pick the kid up at Home Depot as he was doing their woodwork project for kids that they do once a month - that is a story in itself. I go there to meet my mom who has taken him as he had spent the night and this is a grandma thing. So, I get there on time and decide to go in because I want to see his project and I know it will make him feel good if I go in. So I park, go in and there are no kids up where they are supposed to be by the service desk and of course the two service chicks are halfway busy and to important to help me so I trudge over to the cash registers where I find someone and ask where the kids clinic is and he says he doesn't know but he will find out (good answer - that is how they train us in customer service where I work)....so he asks someone and he then tells me it is over back where I had just come from by the garden center - so I go back over and I am thinking something isn't right when there are supposed to be a bunch of kids and I hear no noise - this just is NOT possible. So I get back past the service center and there is a Home Depot WORKERBEE buzzing around so I ask her where the kids clinic is and she says "Oh it is in the far corner of the store this time - back in lumber" - this is at the opposite side of the store that I am now on again! So, I thank her as I am grumbling under my breath - it would actually be scary if some of those guys there knew what the hell was going on.... I am really not a fan of that place because of other issues I have had over the few short years they have been in this valley! I get back to the kids and the dude is done with his race car project and grandma is trying to put his pin on his work apron and it breaks. She tells me this is the second one they have had and so I said give it here and I will take it and get a new one. I go over to a guy and say to him "hey, this pin broke can I get another one?" and he turns to a young girl who I will call LUMBERWOMAN and tells her, she says to him, which I am standing right there, that there is only one per project. So LUMBERWOMAN continues passing out the racecar kits to kids and I just stand there and stare at her, waiting for my pin - LUMBERWOMAN is obviously trying to ignore the fact that I am there but I stand there and stare at her....the guy that I asked initially is feeling uncomfortable so he is just looking back and forth at each of us. Finally LUMBERWOMAN gives in and grabs a pin and hands it to me and I say "thank you". I mean holy camolie I am asking for a replacement 10 cent pin to put on his apron - not for her to stop the world!

I get out of that store as fast as the treads on my SKETCHERS will take me!

I then head to Joann Fabric and as I pull in the parking lot I am waiting for some chick to back her NEON out of a parking spot and some old geezer honks his horn at me who is right behind me, so I LAY ON MY HORN - I said to my husband, "if that man says one word to me I am going to kick his a#$". I am done taking crap from people -I feel like the lady in Fried Green Tomatos when the girls take her parking spot. I should have followed him in to Albertson's and started throwing apples at him or something - what a Jerkasaurus!

I finally get in to Joann Fabs and the whole fam had to come in with me. I was just walking around the store and decided to stop to look at patterns as they were on sale - Lord knows I can't pass up a sale! Who shows up but the one and only - "Indian Drug Princess"....we were chit chattin away and my kid finds me and starts crawling all over me like I am a jungle gym and then wanders off to set off all the singing little animal creatures in the display at the front of the store. I ignore him and try to pretend he is not mine, besides I am in the back of the store behind the pattern files. Before I knew it my man was dragging me away, out of the store and with no purchases at all - what was that all about? He had a GRIP on me! (is that the proper use of street slang? hmmm, no I don't think so....)

From there I buzzed over to KFC to meet a lady from Pullman who I bought some stamps from off of Craigslist....3 sets for 24.00 (Stampin' UP) - what a bargain - cute too! I felt like I was waiting there in the parking lot to do an illegal drug purchase or something!

Saturday's Gratitude List:
~Sunshine today that warms my soul!
~My Elton John tickets - YES! I am so there and anticipating the date!
~My fam for being patient with me as I buzzed around town today!
~My mindset and that I have been getting up with a smile and ready to go exercise, it feels so good and the ladies there are so much fun to laugh with for a few minutes each day! What better way to start a day than with some laughter!
~My creativity!

OH and yes,....The QUEEN who retired this week - she wrote on her blog yesterday as a title "IT IS ALL ABOUT ME NOW..." I had to laugh to myself and say "It is all about ME now? ~ Weiner, when has it NOT been ALL ABOUT YOU?" It is always about you, from ripping sale clothes out of my hand and telling me they would look better on you to getting the MASTER BEDROOM in the Hotel we stayed in and then telling us to be quiet when we were in our room and YOU wanted to watch a movie in OUR room"! Brother, it is about me now??? NOW???